Meandering

I don't feel like I have much to write that is anywhere near profound, but I am determined.  One of the things you learn in writing is to always plan out our essay; your beginning, middle, and end.  Well, for now, I will not be doing that.  I just want to "put thoughts to pen and paper," so to speak.

All last night I dreamt of California; how much I missed it.  I'm sure it's just a bad case of nostalgia, but I woke up thinking, how can I make this happen.  I thought about my dad, will he leave me his house in Pearblossom to me?  Not likely, but I could imagine, living in Pearblossom, Vance being a pastor at one of those weird little churches and really shaking things up.  Then, reality set in.  I'm in the middle of building a house, a mansion really.  We are going to be here till we die.  My life in California was over a long time ago.  That realization makes me so sad.  I still want to take the kids to Disneyland in the very near future.

About the house...it's 5000 square feet of decision making.  Bigger than anything I could have ever imagined in my wildest dreams.  I pray that we stay in budget and do not have a huge monthly payment at the end of things.  For now, I'm making the decision of fireplaces.  We have three and they are all different.  Mom will have a gas fireplace in her apartment.  I was thinking about having a regular open fireplace in the great room, and a wood burning stove in the basement.

The kids:  poor Tristan has caught whatever I had that turned into Bronchitis.  I'm going to keep him out of school today.  After school Morgan picks up her new glasses.  She is so smart.  Kael, Rachie, and Will are all well, but I worry about their abilities to focus and will need to come up with a way to help them with that.  My first thought is to turn of the T.V. and the video games.  I am almost positive those things are turning their brains to mush.

That is it for now.  I'm actually going to try to get in some devotion time today.

Starting over...

It's been a very long time since I have put my thoughts on anything; paper, computer, blog...

Before the fire, I would journal constantly.  I had been journaling since age nine and had many that I kept and looked through occasionally.  I even had some of my mother's journals and thoughts she had written.  All of it was burned in the fire.  Subconsciously, I guess I feel, "What's the point?"  Everything on this earth is temporary, why write anything down to keep.  In fact, why save anything at all?  I really don't think I purposely thought these thoughts, but the effect of having them somewhere in my mind has kept me from journaling and, in some cases, even taking pictures and videos.  I have very few pictures and videos and thoughts of the children in this last year and half.  I have decided, that even if it is all destroyed, I will enjoy all these things for as long as I will be allowed to keep them.

So, my New Year's resolution (2 months in advance) is to document and write my thoughts.  We just started building our house.  I will document that.

Since I'm here, I want to record the joy I just felt listening to Kael sing "God Bless Us Everyone" an octave higher than the vocalist on the recording.  It sounded absolutely beautiful and filled my heart and soul.  And that happened just now.  I know I would forget that if I hadn't written it.  What a beautiful and terrible life we have.

I really hope I can remember to share everything with myself and whomever may read this now or in the future.

file:///C:/Users/Rachel/Downloads/pinterest-b9e38%20(1).html

VisionWriters

I have revisited my VisionWriters journal and I thought I would share.  Although, as usual this is more for me than for anyone else.  I just do not want to forget.

Monday, March 26, 2012

Rachel,

Without faith (the hope in something unseen and unproven) it is impossible (you just cannot) please Me.  For if you really want to know Me and know my ways and my thoughts you have to believe that I exist, but not only that, you need to believe that I care for you, that I love You, that I want the best for you.  You have to believe ALL this, PLUS diligently seek me.  Put me first, put all the ifs, ands and buts out of your mind and focus on the truth of My Word and sacrifice more of your time.  Five minutes here and there is not going to cut it - that is not the definition of "diligent."  Then, when you do this I will reward you with the answers you seek - the ones you really need and do not even know how to ask for.  Test me in this.

BIG WEEK

It's a big week this week.  First, I'm focusing on reorganizing the house.  I guess you could call that spring cleaning.  The nice thing about this week is that I don't have to worry about drop offs, pick ups or homework.  But, in place of that we have The Thorn which will take place this weekend and Glen has to be down at the World Arena almost everyday this week.

Since it is Spring Break there are some thoughts to do with the kiddos.  Roller skating, the zoo, the park for a picnic, the library and swimming at Villa.  I would like to try to really have fun with them, but it needs to be planned out to the minute.  I also need to plan out all my set lists and figure out drivers for the Thorn practices (work is going to get in the way of this week a little bit).

Then I need to set the plans for church events and buy palms for Palm Sunday and set a practice for Easter Sunday and just make sure everything is in place for a really marvelous Resurrection Sunday.  Lord, I ask for your favor, wisdom and brilliant creativity.  These really only come from you.

New Worship Blog

Take a look at my new worship blog.  I will be posting the set lists and a little devotional every week.  I would love to have your feedback.  www.gatewaybfcworship.blogspot.com

THANK YOU

I have to send out a big "thank you"!  Our family recently went on a ski break to Beaver Creek and we really did have a wonderful time.  Everyone had the opportunity to ski. 

When I sat down to really think about it, this trip was impossible.  We really didn't have the money to do it.  We didn't have the time and we didn't have the energy.  God is the God of the impossible.  Things were orchestrated in such a way that He "provided" for the blessing. 

We have always chosen to go on this trip whether the kids were in school or not.  We would never choose Spring Break simply because the slopes are too crowded.  This year, however, worked out perfectly because the kids all had testing in their schools the week we returned giving them a full week to catch up on their homework.  Praise God!

I would not have been able to go on this trip if it were not for 4 ladies who stepped up and subbed all my classes at Villa Sport.  A bonus was that my students missed me.  A little absence does make the heart grow fonder.  Also, the Garcia family and Jarrod L. stepped up and led worship for me at church.  Pastor Derek and Ferris Cox stepped in to preach for Vance.  Aunt Gwen joined us on the trip so we all could get a little more skiing in.  She also cleaned the kitchen at our condo every day, twice per day.  The week before we left she came and cleaned our house several times so I could focus on the enormous task of packing clothes, skis, gear, etc. for 9 people - plus food for an entire week.

It is evident that we could not have had this wonderful family time without the help of so many.  It is encouraging to see how blessed we really are.  Family and friends around us are essential to this life.  THANK YOU!!!

To see photos and video of our trip look me up on Facebook.

Thinking

Hmmm....It's hard to know what to make of this blog now.  I was just reading the last entry and it is very telling about my memory.  I have no recollection of writing that first paragraphy that mentions "forever and a split second."  I really like that description of life, though.  It's on the blog so I guess I wrote it.

I think I'd like to make this site about things I'm learning; spiritually, in parenting and even in the meaningless (we learn meaningless things, too). 

I have nothing right now, but let's see what happens.

It's only been one week since my last post and it almost feels like a year. Time is such a funny thing. One minute you feel like time is going by so fast, but when time is filled with so much busyness you look back at a week and if feels like forever and a split second all at the same time. I like that phrase - maybe I'll rename my blog "forever and a split second" :).

Right after my last entry we got a jolt of electricity sent through our house that knocked out almost every electronic device we own. The good news is that the electric company has admitted that is their fault and are replacing all of our items. This includes a new stove, dishwasher, computers, TVs, DVD player, etc. It's a blessing and a curse. It's awesome (and we are extremely grateful) that we get to have all these updated electronics, especially since some of our things were old, but it's been a very stressful week shopping for all these things and arranging for repair and/or delivery. I don't think I've ever felt more maxed-out.

God is so good, though. It's amazing how there are billions of people on this earth and still he is so detailed that he can pay attention to all my little facets of life and all the other billions' at the same time. Wow! I can't even wrap my mind about that.

Well, that's all I have to say about that.

Maybe when I retrieve all my lost data I will have some pictures to share. Hopefully, in the near future. Blogging info seems to be the only info that's safe :)

I don't know what to write, but I just finished a very hot bath after a long day and I thought it would be a good time to write. So, we'll see what comes out :) It's 10:30pm (which is early for me), but I'm really tired.

This morning was the usual and a bit stressful routine. Getting the kids up, dressed, fed and off to school is not easy and we have a new bus driver who has started to come 3 minutes earlier just to make my life that much harder. It took me until today (Friday) before I could get used to just a three minute difference.

As soon as I returned from the drop off I had to get ready for my 9am aqua class. I barely made it, but it was a good class. When I was done I went over to the basketball court to dance with Brandi for a little bit with her Zumba class. I came home after that, but it was already almost time to pick up Rachie from school. I was there early enough to do a little advertising with the other moms and tell them about my new Zumba class at the church (that felt productive). I came home and ate lunch with everyone then took Ryan up to the church for piano lessons and practice for the Harris' plus cleaning the church for Sunday. I also helped Becky get her van unstuck :) - Hopefully, all that snow melts before Sunday or we'll have a lot of stuck cars.

I took Izzy and Chloe with me and we picked up Will. When we got home I had about 45 minutes to prepare for my next two classes and take Ryan, Izzy and Chloe with me to the gym for the first class which was Family Spin. All the classes went well. Since Ryan was still swimming when I got out of my second class, I walked over to Cyndi's Zumba class and danced with her a little bit. I definitely did not like her style, but it looked like everyone was having fun.

So, here I sit after all that. While I was in the bath I read a little nugget out of a book someone gave me for encouraging pastor's wives. It was by Jack Hayford's wife (I can't remember her name right now). She said she had had a long season very similar to the day I just described right before she left on a trip to Israel. She said she had spent most of the trip on the bus and not at the sights because she was just too tired. She did, however, stop to see the shores of the Sea of Galilee and she felt she her Jesus say, "Do you have any bread?" She said "no". She felt him say, "But, I do. I have more than enough bread for everyone." I've been encouraged by this thought before. I've heard speakers say that they have cried out to God saying, "I can't do it all." Then, immediately hear a reply, "You're right, but trust in Me because I am more than enough."

Somehow, God is getting me through. He's giving me opportunities to spend quality time with my children - even though I am working about 20 hours a week. He's keeping my body healthy, even though I'm working out more than any normal human being should. He's blessing our work at the church - even though we can only devote just a little bit of time. He's keeping it together for us - where you would think it should be falling apart. When we trust in Him, He is faithful and will never let us down. I haven't ever seen it.

I ask God for permission for a lot of things these days: about what I pray and things I ask for, about how I think and feel, about what I do or decided not to do...He's been giving me answers and I'm trusting I'm right where I need to be and if I go to far or not far enough - He'll make that known. In the meantime, I'm going to let Him carry as much as the burden as I can.

Ok. So, Nicky asked about the story in which we became the local pastors at Gateway Church Black Forest. I didn't create an outline before I started typing so, hopefully, this will all make sense and be in the right order.

When we first got married in 1994, Vance was the Associate and Youth Pastor at Elim Chapel in Ocean Beach, CA. Circumstances led us from there after two years to here in Colorado Springs where Vance became the Assoc/Youth Pastor at another church plant 30 minutes south of the Springs called Restoration Church. Neither of these ventures ended well - sad to say.

After a few months sabbatical we ended up at Mountain Springs Church; another young church plant and we got involved on the worship team. This was in 1999. We did lots of ministry: worship, youth, young adults, men and women's ministries. Our hope was that one day we would be invited on staff. We went from 2 children to 7 children at this church not including our loss of little Michal Noel, which the people of MSC were amazing in the support for us.

Through all of this, Vance's desire to be back in full-time ministry increased. Once, while Vance was painting the home of his daughter, Nicky Cruz spoke strongly to Vance about getting back into the ministry. About 5 years ago, we visited this little church at the end of our road. It wasn't for us, but we were still drawn to it. About two years ago people started speaking into Vance's life again about getting back into the ministry. He started a men's group on Thursday mornings that has been meeting at a coffee shop ever since.

Last summer we called the Rocky Mountain District Council for the Assemblies of God and started inquiring about open churches. There wasn't much selection, but there was a sudden need in Woodland Park, a little town about 45 minutes up the mountain. Vance and I ministered there for 5 weeks. The district decided to close the doors of that church. At this point we were still officially at Mountain Springs, but we had visited other churches so we were still praying about searching for more churches through A/G, pursuing MSC a little stronger since they were getting ready to plant 5 churches in the next five years...Oh, I forgot to mention that this little church at the end of our road had closed and we even went up there to look in the windows and daydreamed if it were even possible to buy it ourselves. At the same time our next door neighbors were thinking the same thing.

So, here were all these options. Then, I had a phone call from a friend. We're not real close, but we've known each other for a long time and she and her husband were just called into a ministry at a family camp. She said that while they were going through their decision making process, God lead her to the part in the Bible where Jesus is healing the blind man and at first he sees just shadows and then Jesus touches him again and everything is clear. We felt there there were many roads to take (a fuzzy picture), but there was only one that God had in mind (seeing clearly). As I was talking to here a little more and telling her about all these options, she said she got a chill when I mentioned the church at the end of our road. Both of us believed that was the Holy Spirit.

That little church reopened at Easter of 2010 and we visited just before we went up to Woodland Park. We liked it. There weren't any fireworks, but it was a far cry from what it had been before. After our time in Woodland Park our next door neighbors started talking to us about really giving this little church a chance. They felt this is where they needed to be and they so wanted us to be a part as well. This gave me such a good feeling - to be wanted :).

So, we started going and the first Sunday back, Vance was very bold with the pastor and told him what we wanted. We wanted to be back in full-time ministry and we felt like this was the time. We weren't sure how he was going to take that. The following week we invited the pastor and his wife over for dinner (the week before our next door neighbors, the Garcias, had had them over).

This was a great dinner. Our testimony had so much in common with theirs. It wasn't coincidence. It was a kindred spirit. At this dinner, Pastor Derek was bold as well and said that out of all the people that wanted the position of senior pastor at this church, he was most interested in Vance. This was about three months ago - I know, right?

I started leading worship every week the first week of November. Vance started speaking that month as well and the first week of January we were installed as the senior pastors. This past weekend was the first time I have ever spoken in front of a congregation. I enjoyed it. I spoke on God exalting worship. I never would have had an opportunity like that at Mountain Springs - even after 12 years of being a member. I am so thankful to God for His direction. I'm thankful for the 12 years of being developed and trained and for all the experiences that have led us to where we are now. Right where HE wants us.

Is that cool or what?

Well, since I have four followers (lol) I thought I'd better stay true to this thing. I wanted to post on Sunday. What a beautiful day for church and family. Vance and I get to church before everyone else does so we can turn on the lights and the heat and fireplace - turn on the sound system, start the coffee - all that good stuff. This last Sunday morning at 7am we walked up to the church steps in the cold and fog. Vance looked over at me and said, "Doesn't this feel good to be the first ones here at our own church? This is our church." It does feel good to have our own work; that God has chosen us for this location and for this time.

We've been absolutely taken by this little church for so long. The location is beautiful and at night when the lights are on, the place just glows like a little cottage in a Thomas Kinkade painting. It truly is a light on a hill.

The rest of this week (and it's only Tuesday) has been a little frustrating. It's been hard to stay on task and get anything done. However, I am overwhelmed at how God has been answering all the prayers that have gone out for Vance's business and we can actually start paying off a few bills.

There is so much to be thankful for. Everyone is healthy (accept for a little issue I've been having with staying regular, but that TMI isn't it?) :) - Thank you, God for even the littlest things YOU pay attention to. He surprises me every day.

Ok, so here's how my day went yesterday. Woke up at 7:30 and got Will and Rachie ready for school. For Rachie that meant a bath - goodness that girl can stink. Then, braiding her hair. I got both of them breakfast, dressed, lunches made and backpacks ready. Then I put Tristan in the bath just to use the water and he wanted to play.

We arrived at the bus stop just in time. Then it was off to church by 8:30 for prayer - Wow! God is really working!!! Left just in time to pick up Glen from school 10 minutes late. Drove him back home to change into Zumba attire as quickly as possible and out the door to the gym to teach a 10:45am class. I posted this on FB and had three people show up because of my post. There were about 30 in the class. I got to talk to a lot of people after the class, including David Peace a terrific sound guy and friend who is going to help me tweak the sound at our little forest church.

I left the gym just in time to pick up Rachie from school (10 minutes late). Came home and made lunch for everyone. Mac n' Cheese with oranges and blueberries. My good friend DeDe made me dinner to prepare for our prayer meeting which was at 6:30pm then we had a couple of people from the meeting come by after for dessert. Jeanne showed me how to can my homemade salsa. We did two cans. I'm so excited about this new skill.

It was a full day, but good. The only thing was Ryan didn't get any school work done and today he's working with Vance, something he really enjoys doing, but he will be missing out on school again.

Today I have to go to Sam's for milk and stuff. God is really answering our prayers in regard to finances. It's very cool to be a part of so many people's prayers and see God get the glory. It's not terribly fun going month to month, but it's still cool to see God be so faithful even in the most minute things.

Today, Vance woke up at 5:30 am to start his new men's prayer group at Gateway. Glen woke up at 6:45 am for his first day back at school. It makes me so proud to see him set his alarm, wake up, get his own breakfast and get out the door to catch a ride with the Garcia's.

So, with all that going on I got out of bed, got everyone else cereal (Cocoa Puffs - so nutritious) then got them all dressed and out the door by nine to get to Morgan's first eye doctor appointment since she got her glasses. I was really concerned that the glasses were too think. I tried them on and couldn't see a thing. I just couldn't believe that she would need such a strong prescription. Her eye exam went great and they are definitely the glasses for her.

Off to all the other errands - bank (where Ryan turned quarters for bills and everyone got a sucker), post office (where I forgot the most important things to mail at home - doh!), church (where I met with the piano tuner), late to pick up Glen from school on the other side of town, McDs for lunch (again, nutritious), Sam's to return a $100 aerobed without the box or the receipt - amazingly they exchanged it. The great thing about Sam's is that because it's a membership thing they keep all your records on your card. So cool!

Now, we're home and the Littles are down for a nap. I'm about to take one. I still need to get to the post office (again) to get these MK items out, do payroll, prepare for Zumba tonight and fix a nutritious dinner (ha!).

A New Year

The last post on this blog was almost 8 months ago. It actually feels longer. And as no one is going to be reading this I'm going to go ahead and promise myself to keep track of 2011 (at least once per week. We'll see.

Morgan's second month wearing glasses.

School 2010

I need to make a video of the 09-10 school year. A success! Just below is a picture of EVERYONE at the table with one seat open for teacher.

The video below needs a little explanation. Almost everyday I do a little schooling with the "Littles". They write, color, paint, mold clay and build with blocks. We've also made it a habit to watch Between the Lions at 11am. Every one of them gets a kick out of singing the theme song as loud as they can.

This year has been the best out of the four years we've been homeschooling. I feel like everyone has learned a lot. It's just been a successful year all around. It's been hard work and a little stressful, but I can look back and say I'm proud of the progress we've made.

A couple of weeks ago we did a school field trip to the zoo. It was a great trip! I would say the Grizzly Bears were my personal favorite.

Tristan's Vocabulary

Ugh! I ate right before bed last night and my body is telling me, "Don't ever do that again!" So, instead of running around cleaning and helping everyone with school work, I thought I would sit for a few minutes and write a blog entry.

Tristan is going to be 20 months in just a few days. I'm so glad I still have little ones. I pray that God will help me gracefully go through the seasons as they grow because, right now, it's heart-breaking to think there won't ever be another Terry baby learning to smile and walk and talk. These stages are so precious.

Tristan still has that little baby walk. He is so cute the way he waddles around and then tries to run. I need to take more video of that. He doesn't say much, but he does have a few words and, of course, they're as cute as can be.

His first word was, "Momma". When he first started saying it I was sure he was using it for nursing. Whenever he wanted to nurse he would say, "Mom, mom, mom, mom" over and over. Now, I know he's referring to me.

He says, "Dadda" on rare occasions, but most of the time he refers to Vance as "Momma" as well. I think Vance gets a tiny bit discouraged about this :).

He shakes his head for "yes" and "no". You can tell he still doesn't have the greatest control over his huge noggin and really has to think about it when he nods. He says "ook" for both "look" and "milk" and lately he has started to point a lot for things he wants. He says "bop" for "stop" and he kind of breathes the short "a" sound for "what's that?". That's pretty much all he has for now. He says "un" for everything else. I never know what "un" means.

I have to see if I can take, edit and post more video. Our computer is fixed (we got the "Blue Screen of Death" about a week ago), but it's running kind of funky. So, I'm going to try to find some time to do video editing on the laptop. We'll see how that goes.

Bye for now...

If you get the chance, go back and take a look at last Easter's post.

Easter 2010

We didn't go to church this Easter. Are you gasping? I am. I talked to Vance about several options. My favorite was New Life. We talked about going to our church Saturday night or even a new church that had it's grand opening Easter weekend at the end of our road. I would have liked to see Vance's parents sing in the choir at their church. Vance just wanted a quiet weekend home (if that's possible).



Vance has been working a lot lately. More than he's had to work in almost two years. It's the economy. Work is slow, so we can't afford employees that we have to pay $15-$20 per hour and the ones who make less are not capable of running things alone. Vance is doing almost everything himself. Like he did when we first started.



Easter morning Vance started up all the vehicles that have been sitting over the winter. The mustang started right up, the van didn't. The lawnmower started, too. Vance hooked up the little trailer and Ryan gave everyone a ride around the property. Easter Sunday was the most beautiful day we've had yet this year here in the Springs.



Here are some more pics...

This will be the last year Ryan gets to hunt. Next year he'll be a hider.

That's all for now...kids gettin' into trouble.

A couple of weeks ago we had a huge snow storm. In fact, I got stuck driving home in it which turned out to be the worst nightmare. Never have I been so scared driving. But, that's not what I wanted to write about.

The boys made two snow forts. The picture above was Glen's (just to show you how much snow there was). The picture below is what was left less than a week later. And today, April 7, 2010 it is snowing again. I see some blue sky now, but there are still some flakes coming down and we have almost four inches. I don't mind it, but I am looking forward to summer. You can't complain when the weather is so unpredictable - it makes life interesting and not boring. There's always something to talk about - ha!