Babyness

I’m so enjoying being pregnant. O, I may complain that my back hurts, my feet are swollen and I’m tired, etc., but I’m really starting to love my big belly and just sitting and watching Tristan move around and having fun is so wonderful. I’ve found myself just sitting rubbing my belly and marveling. I get to be pregnant again. I get to feel this little one grow and change almost daily. He moves when he hears certain sounds. Often times, the twins will climb into my lap and push on my belly and he’ll push back.

I find myself thinking, “I only have 6 to 8 weeks left.” It’s gone by so fast. Normally, at this point I start thinking about labor and delivery and many times I’ve been anxious. I think about how much pain and how long, will the baby be perfect when he comes out, will anything go wrong? But, not this time. I’m looking forward to it. I want to savor every moment, every movement, every contraction… I’m not even extremely upset about the kidney stone that seems to be pregnancy related.

I remember once, after having the twins, I came into church and was complaining to one of the nursery workers about how the twins seemed to sleep for two hours at a time and it always seemed like the opposite two hours. It’s like they played tag team. I was so tired and just being negative. She told me a story of one of her now grown children and how she almost lost her and when she was and infant it was like she couldn’t wait until she stirred or cried so she could just pick her up and comfort her, feed her and rock her back to sleep. She talked about how she longed for those days again and how she would stay up all night if that’s what her child needed. She wasn’t trying to make me feel guilty and I didn’t really. But, I did change my perspective. It wasn’t long before I started feeling the same way. I remember saying in my head to one of my kids, “You can wake up during the night as many times as you’d like, I’ll be right here.”

Those moments when your children are in your tummy or are just tiny infants pass by so quickly. I don’t want to miss a single one. In fact, now that Glen is 10 years old I’m starting to learn that there are precious moments with him, as well. All the kids and all their stages of learning and growth are all extremely precious.

I’m so excited about the decision we’ve made about everyone staying home. I get to be with my kids all the time. I get to love on them, nurture them, teach them and just hang out with them. And, as they grow I can see them wanting the same thing with me and their dad and the rest of their brothers and sisters. Just the other day Glen asked, “Hey mom, do you think I’ll get to change Tristan’s diapers?” He and Ryan both help me with the twins’ diapers all the time and an extra diaper changer is always welcome so I answered and enthusiastic “Yes!”

Tristan is going to have so many people who want to hold him and love on him. What a lucky boy! But, until he arrives I’m going to savor every moment and every part of the process until he arrives and then I’m going to try savor every moment as he grows.